Monday, August 26, 2013


So as of today, I'm radioactive.

Took a pill Monday morning, I-131, designed to kill off any remaining thyroid cells and the cancer that may be associated with them. It's all part of an evil process called ablation that starts with you having your thyroid removed, going off the replacement meds, dropping iodine from your diet, and the result being the few remaining cells are so starved for iodine that the radioactive version of the stuff quickly rushes there and kills off the cells and -- one hopes -- the cancer.

Whew, I'm tired just typing that because one problem with going off all thryoid replacement hormones is you feel sluggish, unable to concentrate, and have a lovely lack of motivation -- even more than is normal for me.

Oh, and for a week or so I have to sleep alone, eat off paper plates and stuff and get rid of them myself, use a bathroom alone, flush that toilet a lot because there really is three ways the radioactivity goes away ... to the thryoid cells or out your urine and sweat. Basically I'm quarantined, in my case a week of sleeping in one of my kids' bedrooms, using their bathroom (both are off to college), and not touching any food my wife may want to eat. Also I get to ignore the cat.

Oh, and I have to drink lots and lots of water to flush out the stuff that isn't sucked up by those starving thyroid cells because the last thing you want is for the stuff to stick around and maybe give you cancer somewhere else.

Yeah, that can happen.

A word on a non-iodine diet. It's not that tough if you buy non-iodized salt and hate all dairy or eggs or seafood or any pre-prepared soups or foods of any kind, at all, by anyone other than yourself. So we've been eating fresh, a lot of fresh, but I can't have milk or cheese or shrimp or fish, all favorites. Thankfully, coffee and tea and booze are allowed, though the latter I've gone easy on, maybe a bit of wine at night, because I'm always on the edge of a good nap.

Yeah, I really want a burger, but while most restaurants do not use iodized salt, you can't risk it.

So this week I'm sleeping and eating while keeping a distance from people until, I suppose, Friday when I get scanned. That scan, maybe I'll write about another day.

Oh, and there's the potential for a superpower should, say, a spider come by and bite me while I'm radioactive. Of that I can't speak because it would break the first rule of superpowerdom -- protect your secret identity. Lemme just say that if a super hero suddenly appears next week, I don't know anything about it.

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